Rain Down on Me

wistful ending, thriller beginning...

2012-01-01T22:44:00.000-06:00

It's late, not much to say except it's a little sad to be wishing our first Christmas here goodbye.

But so exciting to be saying hello to our first full year. :)

I have lots to think about, and say, in the coming weeks, about God, children, me...so excited to be ready to blog again.

bringing it in, Hogwarts style...

2011-12-31T21:36:00.004-06:00

2012 is well on it's way to being here, and I'm so looking forward to it. Last year at this time, I had a big load of house sitting on the land, and was anxiously waiting for the weather to cooperate so building could commence. Three snows and several weeks later, it did. :)

This year, we are snug and cozy in a beautiful, God-provided home, with walls still bare of pictures, for the most part; more furniture on the to-get list; and a few window treatments still not decided on. But we are here, and we love it. God has blessed this house with friends and family, and I hope and pray that I am using it to the glory of Him.

Tonight is our first New Year's Eve here. Dalton headed back today, not exactly to college, but to his part-time job leading youth at a small country church; Stevie's friend could not make it until at least tomorrow; and our friends cancelled plans to grill steaks with us; so it's just the four of us, and that's okay with me (except for the missing Dalton part).

We had a little sugarhigh celebration a few minutes ago, with a nice draught of butterbeer, courtesy of Hogwarts. Or rather, courtesy of Foxnews. The recipe is there, and it was quite easy to make. We didn't have pint glasses or mugs for it but, we made do.

Be warned, it's way sweet!

Happy New Year, world. May this year be devoted to God, and through that devotion, to family, friends, and acquaintances.

I should have waited for the bubbles to settle before the picture - it made

a wonderful "head" and the line of separation between foam and

drink was well established.

senior 2012...

2011-08-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

Been pretty busy, lately - lotta catching up to do here on the blog. :)

But to share some cool news, for the first time EVER, I've had a graduating senior call me for portraits the summer before graduation the next May! Woot!

I tried to hint a few times at the pretty fall colors and cooler weather, but it was useless. We did it in the heat. lol. At least we did most of the outside stuff early and I didn't have to show the client what a huge wimp I've turned out to be about the heat. :D

LOVE the way this one converted!

don't give up on us baby...

2011-07-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

I'm still around, just busy and my mind is a zillion places at once.

(In my best Terminator voice) "I'll be back."

camera shy...

2011-07-20T23:37:00.000-05:00

The kid of a photographer. Can you imagine? ;)

the other half...

2011-07-20T23:35:00.000-05:00

of my office, that is. :)

The kids get a kick out of the pantry/office combo, as I've said before. But it sure makes it easy to turn around and snag a snack of peanut butter or Cheerios or sunflower seeds, for sure.

Another peek for ya, Anne! haha

lemons and lavender...

2011-07-19T11:23:00.000-05:00

I finally got set up and started publishing on my new cooking blog. Check it out!

Lemons and Lavender

I am from...

2011-07-17T23:55:00.001-05:00

I am from wooden clothespins on a wire clothesline, from day-old bread bought at the thrift bakery, and purple fingers from shelling homepicked peas. I am from Wilson wieners, from candy cigarettes, from big SweeTarts 2 in a package, and Cracker Jacks. I am from walking barefoot to the library, playing under the catawba tree, and spitting watermelon seeds.

I am from the big old house, top of the hill on McLeod Road, the one that has been moved twice, once from Pine Island to Vivian, then from Vivian to our hill. The house with the southeast corner bedroom, where the lull of the attic fan pulled a cool breeze over me as I fell asleep looking out the window at the TV tower.

I am from the hay bales in the barn, the ones we built forts out of, read books in, tumbled on, and breathed, the cypress knees growing knobby from the pond, playing in the dirt driveway - hopscotch and a Tonka dump truck and riding my bike, pretending it was a motorcycle or a horse.

I am from fishing at Pawpaw's farm, and playing hide and seek outside in the dark with my cousins. I am from Wahoo with Mammaw, and watching wrestling on TV with Grandaddy, and Grandmother's sweet smelling hugs.

I am from the "kid's table" at holidays, and the yes ma'am and no sir and please and thank you. I am 'eat what's put in front of you and be glad of it', and asking God to bless it before anybody picks up a fork.

I am from Bible believing, born again, Southern Baptist preaching, from hellfire and brimstone, to Jesus loves me, this I know. I am from baptism by immersion, covered dish luncheons, Sunday School and Vacation Bible School.

I'm from Louisiana, through and through. I am from fried peach pies and corn on the cob, from home grown beef to fresh gathered eggs, from homemade everything to Coke on special occasions. I am from digging potatoes, feeding pigs, and slaughtering chickens.

I am from the State Trooper daddy who put a live possum in the Captain's desk drawer, the mother who could shoot a snake with a .22 rifle, and the aunt who put rubber dog poop under my Mammaw's end table the day she had a ladies club meeting at her house.

I am from walls of huge photos of smiling and unsmiling ancestors, from a big drawer full of snapshots, from old movie clips of weddings. I am from Fourth of July family reunions and listening to the grownups talk, and swinging on ropes over the creek.

I am from the South, with manners and soft accents and sweet tea and humidity and family.

*I got this from Avitable, and the template is here.

oh my...

2011-07-16T22:29:00.000-05:00

I'm caught up! 16 days in July, 16 posts. My 365 is a little wonky but I'll do it!

One more tonight for good measure. You know how we drive down the highway, and when we come up on road construction and ease our way past, we can look over and see 3 or 4 guys standing around looking while 1 guy does all the work?

Well...my friend had a flat at my house, and this was the scene out the window this a.m. HAHAHA!

breakfast club...

2011-07-16T22:14:00.001-05:00

Speaking of clubs, that's one I would gladly pay dues to join up. I love breakfast! :D

Peach Scones

(adapted from Better Homes and Gardens plaid cookbook 2nd edition)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Wash and dry 2 small or medium firm but ripe peaches. Halve them and remove the pit like you would an avocado seed. Scrape out the tough inner tissue where the seed was, and then dice the peaches into small pieces (you do not have to peel). Set aside for later.

Ingredient list:

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

2 tablespoons sugar

4 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 cup butter, cut into pieces

2 beaten eggs

3/4 cup whipping cream

about 1/4 cup milk for brushing the tops

1-2 teaspoons sugar (or to taste) for sprinkling the tops

Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Using a pastry blender or your hands, cut or press the butter pieces into the flour mixture until you get coarse crumbs. Add the diced peaches at this point and mix well.

Combine the eggs and whipping cream. Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour in the egg mixture. Using a wooden spoon or a fork, mix gently until the dry ingredients are nearly incorporated.

Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface. Press it all together and then knead/fold about 6 or 8 times. Press out into a circle about 3/4 to 1 inch thick (probably about a 10 inch circle maybe). Cut into 12 triangles and place on a baking stone or pan. Brush wedges with milk and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 15 minutes and then check on them. I had to bake somewhere between 18 and 20 minutes to get the top as brown as I wanted it. Serve warm.

The little sweet-tart peaches give these scones such a zing. And I must confess, other than adding the cinnamon and adding the peaches, I didn't change anything - at least intentionally. I did misread the butter as 1/2 cup, where the original recipe said 1/3 cup. But they were so tender and yet didn't crumble excessively. I didn't even notice the mistake in the finished product; only here, when typing the ingredient list. hahaha, silly me.

friend of God...

2011-07-16T16:52:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking on the subject of friends lately, and how precious they are to me. And how difficult it is for me in the whole 'friend world.' I've known about a cooking club around here for a year now, and several of its members are what I would consider friends, and one is even a relative (if she's still in the club, not sure about that). Everybody who knows me knows how much I love to cook. And yet, I've never been asked to come, never really been told about it except 2 times by chance, obviously no one's ever thought about it enough to wonder if I'd like to be part of it.

I know this sounds like a pity party, but it's not. lol. The pity party was the week prior to me writing this, LOL. I'm just trying to figure it out. I finally got the courage to talk to Stevie about it and we both came to the conclusion that people are weird. haha, I love my daughter. :) She makes me happy.

So, back to the subject, one might ask me "well, Sis, why don't you just go ask if you can come?" Three reasons: 1) my mom taught me as a little girl that it was rude to invite yourself to someone's 'house' and that's a hard lesson to ignore; 2) insecurity; what if they really do not want me there? and 3) it would be really nice if someone thought about me and actually wanted me included, ya know?

Sheesh, I sound like such a dork. haha

I don't for a second believe that anyone actually excludes me with conscious thought and intention. The women I know in that club, at least most of them, would never intentionally hurt me or someone else like that. But I really can't figure it out. I mean, I think of local activities, and certain people come to mind because they are in them all the time. I wonder about why that doesn't seem to happen in reverse.

Anyway - the whole purpose of this blogpost is to empty my heart of it, I'm tired of thinking about it in a negative way - writing always helps with shaking the blues - but not only that, to explore this 'friend' thing a little bit. At least to get started on it, because I think it might catch me up in it for a few days.

I think I'm gonna start with the Bible...

2 Chronicles 20:7 - 'Did You not, O our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel and give it to the descendants of Abraham Your friend forever?'

Isaiah 41:8 - 'But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, descendant of Abraham My friend'

James 2:23 - 'and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS,” and he was called the friend of God.'

What made Abraham be called the friend of God? What about his life made God give him that sweet title? I want to know. Off on a journey to find out. :)

he ain't stupid...

2011-07-16T00:59:00.002-05:00

Remember this? In my bedroom.

And this that I just posted very recently? Under the computer desk.

Well now there's this. Dillon's room.

Zeus knows all the warm spots in the house...haha. Smart fella.

missed posting this...

2011-07-16T00:42:00.001-05:00

Dillon and I stained our table and chairs (and a bench, too, although it's kinda hidden in the pics).

We're pretty stinkin' proud of ourselves. :)

Edit: just found a couple of the bench. :)

blanket babies...

2011-07-16T00:30:00.000-05:00

Zeus under my feet at the computer desk

Sweet ol' Pumpkin in the warm laundry room

where do they come up with these things?...

2011-07-16T00:22:00.002-05:00

The twins I keep on Thursdays keep me snickering all the time...

Girls: Can we have some cereal?
Me: Sure!
(they follow me into pantry)
Trinity (seeing basket of garlic): Are these to keep the vampires away?

And then later, Serenity told me about her mom's garden: "She has a bamato, then a pepper, then a bamato, then a pepper, then another bamato and then another pepper."

teehee! Cute, huh?

oh, thank You...

2011-07-13T23:55:00.000-05:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~rain!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay, so...

2011-07-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

I know I'm behind. Yes, I do know that.

But it's been such a long, long day and I'm very tired. And a busy weekend prior.

So, I'm going to get in my warm bed with my newly adjusted air conditioning chilling the room, burrow under the covers and watch tv til I get sleepy, with the light of a 3/4 moon shining in the window.

But first, for nikkipolani, here is yet another small glimpse into the house. :) My computer desk.

I'll show you a peek at what's on the other side of the room tomorrow, when I do all my catching up.

Nite! xo

Friday 5 faves...

2011-07-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

Haven't done this for a while, hopefully I'll stick with it ;)

1) friends, especially friends who will cook! My daughter's friend came over with plans to cook chicken pot pie for us, just for fun. This is the 2nd of 2 - the first was so demolished, it was embarrassing to even think of photographing it, hahaha

2) My new favorite beverage, a virgin mojito - I'll be blogging about that soon over on my new cooking blog (once I get it all set up).

3) The view out my back door

4) "mundane" - the theme for Foto Friday on my favorite photo forum. I installed the hanging rod just the other day - yes, your eyes do not deceive you, it is warped - I guess that's why they 'gave' it to me hahaha. This is a fav because I'm loving my folding counter.

5) The girls I'm sitting on Thursdays for some friends. And they were making some scrumptious cookies (bonus pic!) Alas, the recipe is a guarded secret and I'm not free to share. :( But take my word for it, these are rich, gooey, and very adult chocolate chip cookies, although kids love em too. Next time, I'm gonna sprinkle the tops of some with vanilla salt, heavenly!

BoNuS! :)

if I ever go to Seattle...

2011-07-07T23:23:00.004-05:00

Gum Wall.

Oh yeah. I will participate. ;)

what I've been doing lately...

2011-07-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

cooking: bread pudding, lemon-basil olive oil cake, cantaloupe granita

reading: revisiting 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis, the book of Isaiah (just started)

recently watched tv: 'The Book of Eli', 'Slingblade', 'Robin Hood' (with Russell Crowe)

newest house purchase: curved shower curtain rod for the kids' bathroom

music: not much lately, but Creed still fits the bill (is anyone surprised?)

photography: teaching 9 wonderful ladies a basic photography class

family: trying to face the fact that Dalton will go off to college in about 5 weeks

praying: for my lost friend, my children, my mom and dad

loving: life, and God

What have you been up to?

there's no place like...

2011-07-05T12:35:00.002-05:00

So, a few minutes ago, I opened the microwave to reheat my last cuppa for the day...and there sat the last cuppa from yesterday.

And now I know I am home.

:)

awesome 4th!...

2011-07-05T11:13:00.001-05:00

Well, yesterday was the first *real* celebration in the new house ~ meaning 'official holiday', and I enjoyed every minute of it. Awesome burgers/dogs, awesome salads courtesy of my mom, awesome desserts, awesome family. Eaten with awesome love and laughter around my newstained table. :)

Hope your celebration of our beloved country's independence was just as awesome.
XO

chocolate zucchini cupcakes

triple berry bread pudding

(recipes to follow soon)

what a reminder...

2011-07-03T22:28:00.000-05:00

My friend and pastor Dustie challenged us tonight, to focus our minds and commit to praying for one person who needs Jesus. I immediately knew who, and ton-of-bricks guilt came crashing down; I have prayed for the one I had in mind, but not like I should have...tears filled my eyes for him and for my lack of consistency.

I have committed to a week of intense, focused, and consistent prayer for my friend. All for God's glory.

Because...it is no secret what God can do. God, please show off Your amazing, saving power and glory this week. I love you.

brother bounty...

2011-07-02T22:11:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for generous brothers... :)

dog tired...

2011-07-02T21:58:00.002-05:00

How bad is it that I decided to really commit to a 365 blogfest starting July 1 and then got so busy that I didn't get a chance to post on the first day? lol

Yesterday, Dillon and I spent the day staining and then assembling a dining room table, and staining a bench for it. I threw in staining my office stool, as well. There was also a fixit guy from United Built taking care of a bunch of little things here and there, finishing touches. THEN we went out to eat at a little inexpensive Italian restaurant, and to see a movie - got home after 1 a.m.

But, the table looks really great. I am pretty excited about it.

And then today, Chrissy the lab woke me up barking at 6:30 and I got up to check on things. All was well, and I played with her for a while before coming back in to start up coffee and get my day going. Including washing a huge pile of dirty dishes that stacked up for 2 days because of fixit man being in the way (lol). Dillon and I finished the staining with the 5 chairs and we. are. done. After letting them cure for a day or so, we will have our first sitdown meal together here in the new house on Independence Day, cuz I'm cookin' burgers on the grill and inviting my parents and whatever brother families want to come. Saweet!

The fixit guy came back today and finished his stuff, hopefully for good - it's awesome how good he is. And, I also hung a few pictures, a wall-art thingie, and a cross today. This house is starting to get a little personality to it. :)

But, right now, my feetz are sore, and I'm just, well...

did I mention?...

2011-06-27T13:09:00.000-05:00

We are IN! Have been 9 days.

That doesn't mean we have anything pretty hanging on the walls, or even a dining room table (which is lying on my floor in a box at the moment...) but we are definitely in here. I am loving my new home, thanking my awesome God for answering this long prayed prayer with a resounding YES!

And I am loving my room. :)

oh mr. sun, sun, mr. golden sun, please shine down on me...

2011-06-12T23:14:00.000-05:00

Tonight at the dessert fellowship, a very sweet young man in our youth group named Thomas came up to me, pointed at the pineapple upside-down cake I had made, and said "Mrs. Sis, that tastes like sunshine."

I was stinkin' delighted.

To understand fully the impact of these words, you have to know that his mother is one of the best cooks I know. Seriously. For one of those kids in that family to tell you that you made something that tastes great is a compliment better than if Alton Brown said it. :)

my silly girl...

2011-06-12T23:08:00.000-05:00

I took this pic on Saturday but just got home too late and too tired that night to post it then.

Did some cooking at the new house, trying out that new range. :) I asked my daughter to bring me some lemons from home when she came up.

This is what I got. lol. I love her.

old meets new...

2011-06-10T23:08:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, when I had that first cup of newhouse coffee, I got my stevia sweetener out of my old tin cafe container. I was struck by the thought of how long I've had it, and what it means to me.

I got it when I married my first husband, Jeff. Some people brought gifts to the wedding, and I opened them at the reception, and then rushed off to honeymoon. The inlaws collected the gifts and took them to our little house for us. When we got back, there they were, on the counter in the kitchen, so as I looked through them again, I came across this little package wrapped in colorful dishrags as the gift wrap. I opened it and there was this tin cafe, filled with popping corn. As I was opening it, my mother in law said "Isn't it awful? I was so embarrassed by it, I took it out to the car and hid it so no one would see it at the reception." (Is it any wonder I'm not still down there with that family? lol) I said "I love it and think it's adorable." And it had a prominent place on my counter the rest of the time I was there.

When I left that hellhole, I made sure it came with me, and it held sugar in my tiny trailer house, when I lived alone; then it moved to our apartment when Jack and I got married. The past few years, it was my Splenda container for my coffee, and now that I'm using stevia, that's what it holds these days.

It's beatup, scarred, scratched, and maybe even has a teensy dent or two, but it still is beautiful to me. A woman took time to fill it and wrap it just for me, and it took money out of her household budget. That kind of sacrifice is worth appreciating.

But not just that. It's stood the test of time, 31 1/2 years, to be exact; and the more it's used, the more it's loved. Old meets new. Kind of like me. I'm pretty old to be moving into a new house, and I wonder just how out of place I'll feel. But as long as I can hold the sweetness of Christ in me, I suspect I'll find my place. :)

another new house first(s)...

2011-06-09T23:51:00.000-05:00

first cup of coffee...

first journaling...

first bouquet, gardenias from my mother's bush...

Thank you, my sweet Father.

I made spaghetti, with canned sauce. And a boxed cake mix...

2011-06-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

So boring, huh?

NOT!

Because I cooked it in my new house on my new stove and baked the cake in my new oven! Can we say (ahem) WOOT!

I did dress the cake up with big Ghirardelli chocolate chips mixed in the batter. We had it warm, and the chips were big melty spots of perfection throughout the yellow cake. Thanks, Thermon and Suzie for coming up to have a piece with me. You are the first friends I've fed in that wonderful kitchen.

It was just awesome to cook there for the first time. Even if it was baby food. HAHA

back to school night...

2011-06-07T23:59:00.005-05:00

Photography class!

I started teaching one tonight!

It was pretty stinkin' awesome. :)

President of senior class (that warrants a speech, yay!)...

2011-06-07T23:59:00.004-05:00

woohoo! High school graduation, finally!

I'll never forget his first day of school, as I took him into that kindergarten class. I sat down in the room to fill out some paperwork, and the teacher gave him a board with some stick pegs to put in (not very exciting, to begin with). After about 3 minutes of that, he put the last peg in, pushed the board aside, and said loudly and with great excitement and authority: "Welp! I'm ready to learn to read now!"

Joy of my heart, my children all are. I love you and am proud of you, Dalton. :)

Sunday Sunday...

2011-06-07T23:58:00.001-05:00

Sunday, my sweet son preached the night service message. It is sososo amazing to watch God work in him, through him, around him. In the immortal words of Mrs. Suzie, he's such a blessing. Precious. :D

I see him growing up as a man, in confidence and in comfort, in personality and in passion. He's moving ahead on the path God has put in front of him, and though his mom takes it all in and thanks God for it, it can only be said that this cup is bitter sweet.

More sweet than bitter, though. :)

home again, home again...

2011-06-04T23:25:00.000-05:00

My baby boy left for JrROTC camp last Tuesday, and this momheart has been lurching around ever since. It's the first camp I've ever sent him to that wasn't a church camp. eek.

There were some stupid pranks played on him a few times, because he's little...the toothpaste-on-your-hand-while-you're-asleep type, which I hate for him, but he handled it with fair humor. Mostly, though, he learned some self-discipline, and got to do some fun things in the meantime, like rappeling from a tower, building a rope bridge (ALL his squad crossed dry and then jumped in the water at the end, LOL), and good ol' GI Joe stuff like that.

But for all the growing my boy did this week, this old mama is glad to have him home. :) Thank you, God, for keeping him safe, and for moving him a little closer to being a man. I love him. :)

june 3 makeup...

2011-06-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

I love it when my baby girl shows off her Godgiven talents...she just saw this in a magazine or on tv, found a sash, and made it. What a girl.

tomato love...

2011-06-02T23:35:00.001-05:00

Ohhh, how I love tomato season, and it's almost here!

tomato art

sinking deeper roots...

2011-06-01T23:57:00.000-05:00

How quickly does my heart become a desert, when I fail to water it with the Living Water? How dry and dusty is my heart then.

I love my Lord because he rescues my gardenheart, pouring life anew into barren waste.

“Thus says the LORD: ‘I have healed this water; from it there shall be no more death or barrenness.’" 2 Kings 2:21b

how life will change...

2011-05-23T22:24:00.001-05:00

Moving from a house with no room to a hugely spacious house.

Moving from a dark house with 12 windows and under huge trees to a sunfilled house with 20 windows and no trees overhead.

Moving from a house that's falling apart in many ways to a brand spanking new one.

Moving from isolating myself to being wide open.

Or...at least trying to be.

I've been isolated so long, I don't know what it will be like or how to act. Part of me thinks the only way I know how to talk to anyone anymore is through the typed word.

Lord, I'm scared. This is beyond me, I've been alone too long. Be with me. Because all I can think about is, what if nothing changes?

fill me...

2011-05-20T19:34:00.001-05:00

solitude

consuming void

only endless love of God

fills this cup

ding ding ding ding...

2011-05-07T12:31:00.000-05:00

We have a winner! Stevie randomly picked the randomly assigned number, and it came up nikkipolani woohoo!

Congratulations, Anne, you have some beignet mix and Cafe du Monde coming to ya!
XOXO

Thank you to the rest who participated - I'm gonna have another drawing (hopefully not late like this one was ahhhahahaha) on Memorial Day and the prize will be (drum roll....) a couple of bottles of locally made "Soppin' Sauce" and a little 'surprise' added just for fun. So excited! lol

Get your comments in on this one, tell you friends, tell your significant others, tell everybody! This sauce is GOOD! I'll be linking this post and blogging reminders throughout the month of May.

quick update...

2011-04-14T07:08:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I was wrong about 2 readers, I actually have 3! Woohoo! hahaha

Inserting a link here as a reminder about the giveaway on April 30 - if there is anyone else out there, y'all give me a shout and get your name in the hat. :)
http://raindownonmegod.blogspot.com/2011/04/not-april-fools-joke.html

House update coming this weekend, pictures and all!

homemade buns and avocado fries...

2011-04-02T23:03:00.001-05:00

Just had a hankerin' for hamburgers a couple weeks ago, and that same day, my daughter came home wanting to try avocado fries. Since I was on a "deep fry" theme with my last post, I'll continue it with another one - it really is few and far between that we fry food like this, no matter what Paula Deen says about cooking in the South, hahaha!

Anyway, the fries were easy - just peel and slice like a potato for home fries, and then dip in flour, egg, and flour again, and deep fry. They were very tasty, and we will someday make them again, but I would like to either sprinkle them with lemon juice as they come out of the pan, or maybe soak them in lemon juice before battering them. They needed just a little kick, not to mention salt.

On to the hamburger buns! Seeing none in my cupboard or freezer, I zipped online and found this recipe, dragged out the bread machine, and just made my own (I am woman lol). Easy as can be. :)

Here's a shot before devouring (yes, I put some of the avocado fries on it):

And happy birthday to my baby boy, Dalton, who's 18 today. :) Not that I've seen him, I guess when you're 18, it's more cool to go hang out with your friends. lol.

He's grown up into a wonderful young man, I'm very blessed by God to be his mom.

Found this shot from a few years ago, and wondered why I didn't process it then - I love it. It was when he was just starting to really change from the 'boy' look, to the 'man' look...sigh.

NOT an April Fool's joke...

2011-04-01T11:56:00.007-05:00

Life has been EEK! and WOW! and WHEW! lately and I am loving the train I'm speeding on! The house is coming along at what did seem like a very slow pace and now seems like lightning, but it's so much fun to watch and participate in. Overall, it's been relatively painless, although there have been a few small bumps in the road with the contractor - I guess that's typical for just about any house building that anyone does. I can't complain. I'm very happy with what the house is going to be, when it's done.

People tell me that if your marriage can survive building a house, it can survive anything. I think in our case, it was "if your marriage can survive choosing a house plan, it can survive anything!" haha. All (or most, to be honest) of our arguing was pre-breaking ground, and it's been really a fun experience to go through with Jack. Kind of surprised me, but what a pleasant surprise.

So - as it stands now, we should be moving in about mid-May (swoon).

In the meantime, I am working myself up to posting more here, and on the Cast Iron Kitchen blog. Once I get all that sweet light in my kitchen, I'll be much more inclined to post recipes and photos, and as far as this blog, I just want to explore the new house/life/location through blogging.

Kicking things off in that direction, I want to do a giveaway. Yes, the hearts of all 3 of you readers just skipped a beat, didn't it? :D

Today, I did something I very seldom do, and that was deep-fry. I made beignets for breakfast, and they were soooo yummy. So to celebrate all that God has given me and the sweetness of life, I'm giving away a box of Cafe du Monde beignet mix and a can of their coffee to some lucky reader. At this point, your chances are pretty good because I think readership is really low (I wasn't kidding about 3 HAHAHA) but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised. And the other thing is, I'm going to do a monthly giveaway for the first 12 months of being in the new house! So pass the word and let's have some fun with it!

To enter, post one comment here, between now and midnight on April 30, and tell me something you love about your house. Only one entry per reader and I'll print them out, cut them up, and have one of the kids randomly pull out a strip and post it on May 1st, along with a new giveaway announcement. Be sure and include a link or an email so I can contact you if you win!

Tell your friends to sign up! I just want to share my joy with everyone I can. God is good and I want people to hear it (and taste it! XOXO

going home soon...

2011-03-05T10:27:00.000-06:00

waiting to breathe...

2011-03-03T07:14:00.001-06:00

So this is what I've been up to lately. Waiting as my life changes - for the better.

Waiting to see the sun set from the back porch.

Waiting to wash 18 big beautiful lightfilled windows. And smile while I do it.

Waiting to cook for people I love. And to be able to take bright, gorgeous pictures of what I cook, without thought to high ISO and noise galore. Isn't it funny that much of my house was designed with photography in mind? I guess I'm addicted...

Waiting to breathe.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Psalm 150:5,6

Isaiah 30:18

2011-02-02T20:53:00.001-06:00

‘Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you,

and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you,

for the LORD is a God of justice;

how blessed are all those who long for Him.’

snow day...

2011-01-15T11:16:00.001-06:00

I know that many parts of the country, snow is a wearisome thing, most of the time. But down here, we are crazy for it, for the most part. Beauty and novelty and fun and school closings and hot chocolate and icy flakes down the shirt and cold fingers and snow angels and just the wonder of it all.

Somehow, these seasons of nature always bring openmouth amazement to me at the hand of God. He is indeed majestic, and his works show it.

Whatever season I'm in, whether it's winterwonderland snow or dustdry summer, may I always seek the hand of God in it, and give him glory and praise.

John 8:31-32

2011-01-15T10:22:00.001-06:00

"Then to the Jews who had believed Him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

This is the 2nd memorization verse in the memory plan I'm participating in with my sweet friend Jenni. I also want to understand contexts of the verses I memorize, so I read around this one, and Jesus was speaking to a group of Jews who listened to him tell who he was, and where he came from. This is the "teaching" he was speaking of.

Micah 6:8

2011-01-04T08:47:00.000-06:00

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

after all...

2011-01-03T22:58:00.001-06:00

On that reading thing...you know, not studying, not lingering - totally opposite of what I would think Bible study would typically be, you know?

I look at it this way - when I am thirsty, I drink water down to quench my thirst - not to cool my mouth, not to linger over the clean flavor, but to quench. And when my thirst is quenched, then I can sip and savor.

So I look at this 90 day Bible reading challenge as - soulquenching.

(a quick shoutout to Donnetta, who just finished this challenge and has been blogging about it, thanks for the support and the links, and most of all, the INSPIRATION! XOXO, friend, and thank you for the tips! and to Anne, who's "go girl!" made my heart sing - love you, dearheart!)

challenge B90...

2011-01-03T17:11:00.003-06:00

Reading. Just reading. Not studying, not lingering, not soaking in it as much as just slurping it down. With a notebook at hand, to scribble down places to come back to, later, for that long soak.

http://www.momstoolbox.com/

And day 1
http://www.momstoolbox.com/blog/2011/01/03/bible-in-90-days-day-1/

new beginnings...

2011-01-01T22:17:00.000-06:00

I love January 1 of any year. I love new beginnings. I love new mornings, new life, new marriages, new friendships, new mercies. I love that my God is merciful to me and loves me fresh and new, every morning.

New Year's resolutions are funny things - most of us feel the need to announce something, anything, or the celebration just isn't complete. And yet, statistically, most of us also fail at keeping them. Isn't that weird?

Nevertheless, I am going to post some. :) I'll try to keep them more general and lifechanging lifeconsuming lifeloving in nature.
1. Read something from my Bible every single day. That means I will have to sacrifice something - sleep, computer time, tv time, lunch, something - because my day is already packed full. But how else can I hear what my Savior has to say?
2. Journal again. I can't believe I let such a sweet time of lovetalk go by the wayside. Stupid, Sis, really stupid.
3. Blog again. I can't believe I let such a sweet time of selfexpress go by the wayside. Stupid, Sis....you get the picture.
4. Okay, there is the everpresentmonkeyontheback weight thing. I can't say, with this almost 50 year old body, how much weight I will actually lose (or not) this year. So instead, I'm going to set an exercise goal. That being, I will develop a consistent exercise regimen and follow it as faithfully as I can, barring bad health. That means 4-5 days of the week, doing some kind of exercise. And blogging again about it on Downsizing. What I was doing before having so many problems seemed to be working fine, and now that said problems have been eliminated, I think I'll try that again. :)
5. Host someone in my new home for a meal at least once a week for the rest of the year (after we move in, of course, LOL). I can hardly wait for that one!

I think I'll stop there. That's way enough, already, at 5. :)

XO

forever...and ever...

2010-12-11T07:54:00.010-06:00

Hallelujah!

This had me in tears. Be sure to click. :)

I love you Jesus!

EDIT! I can't believe I forgot and didn't credit where I got this video - my sweet friend nikkipolani posted a link to it back in December. Absolutely loved it. XO

mercyme, I'm pumped...

2010-11-21T06:58:00.002-06:00

SO EXCITED!

YEC this year! Woohoo!

SPEDtalk - lunch...

2010-11-20T13:31:00.003-06:00

I like to ask my kiddos what they had for lunch that day, if I see them after said lunchtime. Serves a twofold purpose: 1, causes them to have to think, and remember - sometimes a hard thing for my special babies; and 2, lets me know if I want to eat lunch at that school that day. (snicker)

So, Thursday I asked J, during his session, and he informed me that it was hamburgers. Um, nah, I personally passed on that. Then in my next session, I worked with a kindergartener who has autism.

Me: So, A, what did you have for lunch today?
A (immediate dead-serious response): Crabby Patty.
Me: LOL

I love it.

how to grow gardeners...

2010-11-20T13:20:00.001-06:00

The special ed preschool class at one of my schools is just pretty much amazing. The teacher is a longsuffering, patient, motherly presence that takes no backtalk or whining, but instead offers every baby in that class firm love seasoned with plenty of fun.

And the chance to grow things.

And when they do, they sell them. A dollar a bunch, no matter what it is.

My four dollars was well spent yesterday on gorgeous turnip greens and wonderful tasty radishes.

This teacher knows what kids need. Dirtcoverd hands, stained jeanknees, and the final product to touch, see, and taste, knowing they helped grow it. Plus a few hugs along the way.

Beautiful, huh? :)

how to snazz up dessert...

2010-11-14T20:25:00.001-06:00

A month ago, a couple of us got together to cook supper for the brand-new youth leadership team celebration supper. One of the things I did ahead of time was make dessert, and it was pretty yummy, if I may say so. A Paula Deen idea, if I remember right. And it would be a fun treat for everyone but especially for kids, this Thanksgiving.

First, I made a graham cracker crust, and packed about a half inch in the bottom of a cupcake paper, which had been placed in a cupcake baker. And then the snazz - I placed a Reese's cup (unwrapped, if you please, lol) on top of the crust. Then I topped it with my favorite cheesecake batter, filling it just about to the top of the cupcake paper, and baked it until set - if I remember correctly, about 20-25 minutes. Let it cool, and then sit for a little while in the fridge, but not long - I didn't want it so cold that the Reese's cup would be hard.

It was a very good treat, and I definitely will be doing this again. The one thing I'll do different is to place maybe a tablespoon of batter on top of the crust before placing the Reese's; I think it will look prettier, once a bite has been taken, and maybe even melt better, surrounded completely by cheesecake. And to really make it cute, like I did, put all the cheesecakes in white papers, and then set each one into one of the foil separaters you find in the package of cupcakes. Just makes it a little more special, imo.

play me some mountain music...

2010-11-13T09:25:00.001-06:00

I am SO excited that this Mountain Music bloom squeaked in, in spite of the colder weather. There's another bud out there, but I just have doubts that it'll make it. But this color has me thrilled, and I can hardly wait to get more awesome Bucks.

the year of jubilee...

2010-11-12T23:06:00.003-06:00

If there is one song that I would have to declare the greatest song ever, it wouldn't be anything by Creed (gasp!), or by my old loves Heart, Rick Springfield, ZZ Top, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Elton John, or even Elvis...

It actually wouldn't be "by" anyone. Instead it would be one of those songs that almost no one can mess up, just because of the nature of the song.

It would be this one...the one that's playing, and I'm going to leave up for a week (just because this is my blog and I can and it's an awesome song).

I've been in Chancel Choir and revival choir and in the congregation at different times, when this song was part of worship. It makes me want to cry and holler and rip the ceiling off so I can see Jesus coming, because I just KNOW he's going to, right then while we're singing.

My only thought besides anticipation is that I want my unbelieving friends to be looking up with me, in belief and anticipation themselves.

I love you, my Jesus. Come back soon. And let my friends be ready too, in these days of Elijah.

how I know I'm 'me' again...

2010-11-05T20:42:00.003-05:00

1. I feel like cooking for people again.

2. I don't collapse into bed the second I get home.

3. Steps and stairs don't scare me one bit.

4. I can think about physical things without getting feeling a little bit sick at my stomach, or getting tense; one such thing is running; I won't mention the other since my kids might read this blog one day and think "ewww..." LOL

5. I'm starting to actually think about people enough to put myself in their shoes again. Let me clarify - when you are not feeling well for months and months, and then find out what's wrong and that you need surgery to fix it, and then you have the surgery and while it wasn't too bad, there were days of pain and extreme tiredness...when those things happen, it's very easy to think only of yourself and to get a bit grumpy or impatient with others. It feels good to be moving toward 'sensitive' again, when it comes to others. I don't like being selfcentered very much...

6. I can sleep on my stomach (much needed, btw)

7. I'm really getting pumped about taking portraits again. After the unusual stint of working six weeks in the summer, then youth camp, and all the medical stuff on top of that, and then just a couple weeks before school started again, I just had very little interest in my camera, honestly. I don't like that feeling at all!

8. I am getting a long-missed feeling of contentment again, deep inside.

9. I get out of bed in the morning without planning on how to 'roll' to keep from activating stomach muscles.

10. And finally, I know I'm 'me' again because the doc checked things out and declared me fit to return to normal activities. I now have the seal of approval. Woot!

some people might call me a hero...

2010-11-05T20:28:00.004-05:00

I say I'm just doing my job.

(school cookie fundraiser - this cookie also benefits breast cancer research)

wordless wednesday...rosemary

2010-11-03T20:42:00.001-05:00

weakness...

2010-10-23T11:15:00.002-05:00

I do have a few.

This is one:

Yes. I succombed.

creeping back to life...

2010-10-18T20:51:00.002-05:00

Surgery is done, healing has begun, and I'm starting to finally feel like myself again. I'm back at work, and though I have been tired (funny how surgery zaps strength - I guess all the good stuff goes to healing, and there's not much energy left, lol), I also have felt very good. Pain has been minimal. Thanks so much for prayers and wellwishes.

More are requested, however - my photography is about to take a new turn, if God wills it and I don't mess it up. More on that later, but if you are inclined to, please pray that I'll be clear headed about things and wise - not my strong points.

I've been kind of scarce here - been focusing more on my family during these weeks of healing, just spending time with them. My kids are growing up so fast, I'm really starting to feel it now. Joy and pride and happiness wrestle almost constantly with sadness and a little sense of dread. Bitersweet times. Hopefully I can get myself here to re-start blogging my heart. It seems to have stiffened a little over the months, just like my body has stiffened from no exercise (that, btw, can also re-start in 3 weeks, if things continue to go so well).

I'm rambling a bit now. I'll close by saying it's good to be back, and I've missed you.

full circle

2010-09-19T20:05:00.002-05:00

Everyone knows how much I love Creed. So, I'm 'borrowing' from them, I love it when that happens, lol.

Here's the deal:

I have not felt 'right' over at the 'thunder' blogplace, not really - I thought it was a good idea, to combine three blogs into one, and just get it done all right there. But it just ain't working for me. For one thing, I had to create the new one under a different email address, but being also through Google, I now have to switch back and forth between my email and my blog to comment, if I have them open at the same time. What a pain to have to sign in and out every single time. Bleh.

Plus this is home.

I felt kind of weighed down but the history of Rain Down, but once I got away from it, the whole process of who I am right now, with the blogging, it's part of me. I can't just shut the door on it. Don't know why I thought I could.

And fun! I imported Thunder right on over here, and it's in the corrected dated order, too! woot! It even brought my tags along, and combined them. Awesome. The only thing I'll have to fix is that there are a bunch of new blogs I'm following - I'll have to go through the process of moving those here, and that'll take a few days. But when that's done, I'm deleting Thunder and just having those posts here from now on.

I'll also be reviving the Cast Iron Kitchen, and Downsizing. I know I'm as wishywashy as Charlie Brown, but the experiment failed and I've been homesick. It's good to be back now. Come full circle.

Hoping you guys follow me back again...XOXO

baking and a new favorite blog

2010-09-18T20:23:00.000-05:00

I love it when I find a cooking blog that just hits me smack in the face with recipes I know I'll love, without even trying them first. Closet Cooking is just one of these. I linked to it from 17 and Baking today, when I made the "Maple Pot de Creme" except that I just call it Maple Custard, cuz it's basically the same thing. lol

For a Southern girl, who hasn't been drenched in maple syrup all her life, but instead, blackstrap molasses and pure cane syrup (from Louisiana sugar cane, naturally), I sho do love me some maple syrup. Today, I used up nearly all the can I got when Jack and I made our fall NE trip a few years ago. I did do a substitution, because, well, I just try to make things less unhealthy when I can...so instead of heavy cream, I pulled out a can of evaporated milk. The deeper tones of the milk combined with the golden brown of the syrup created a beautiful fall-colored dessert that I found very appealing. I was wishing I had a gingersnap to stick in the ramekin with it, just before serving.

It was so good. Creamy. Mapley. Smooth. The only thing that might have made it better is if it had a creme brulee type crust on top.

The rest are chilling in the fridge, and no doubt will be breakfast in the morning. I might even spread a bit on a pancake...

Maple Custard

(adapted from Closet Cooking's 'Maple Pot de Creme')

2 cans evaporated milk (or 3 cups 2% milk, or heavy cream if desired)

1 cup pure maple syrup (may be reduced to 3/4 cup for a firmer custard)

1/2 teaspoon salt

8 egg yolks

1 teaspoon vanilla

Whisk egg yolks and vanilla together well in a bowl and set aside.

Blend milk, syrup, and salt in a saucepan and bring to a simmer on medium heat, stirring to prevent scorching. When it begins to simmer, turn off the heat.

Temper the egg mixture with the hot milk mixture by adding about 1/3 cup of the milk while whisking quickly. Add slowly to keep from scrambling the eggs. When tempered, slowly pour this mixture back into the saucepan, stirring constantly, and blend well. Strain into a bowl using a fine mesh strainer.

Place 8 ramekins in a pan with sides, such as a large cake pan. Pour equal amounts of custard into the ramekins and place into the hot oven. Pour hot water into the pan to halfway up the ramekins.

Bake for 50-60 minutes til edges are set and the center is still a bit jiggly. Remove from water bath and place on a rack or towel to cool. Enjoy at room temperature or cover and chill several hours or overnight (I prefer it cold but it's delish at room temp too).

what I want

2010-09-17T22:18:00.001-05:00

It's Friday night. The house is empty. Jack's out with some buddies, Dalton's practicing with the band for a Sunday morning song, Dillon's at a sleepover, and Stevie went down to Cajun Country with a friend. It's strange and quiet and dark and just...delicious.

Before I put the cat out and go to bed in this sweetly silent house, I think about tomorrow, and what I want to do on this treasured Saturday:
~ fill the house with the scent of laundry detergent from washing clothes
~ drink in luscious morning light along with my coffee
~ bake something
~ get lost in my thoughts and dreams
~ fly away with a unicorn to the land of the blueberries...(teehee!)
~ make crockpot pho bo
~ read something

But right now, with the air conditioner chilling the house just so, I hear a certain green quilt calling my name. :)

future plans

2010-09-16T18:27:00.001-05:00

Since I jumped in here with a post about my *ahem* girl problems, I suppose I should update...(teehee!)

I had another doctor's appointment on Monday to discuss the results of the biopsy that I had. Apparently I'm not in menopause after all (gasp!) and I'm not even anemic. Huh? I asked her why I was so tired and she said my body is working really hard to NOT be anemic, and while my blood levels looked okay, that didn't mean all this trouble wasn't taking its toll. So I guess that part's good news.

The other part, about not being in menopause yet (for the past 5 years of problems? Sheesh); that kind of threw me for a loop. Instead, I have 'endometrial hyperplasia' along with the fibroid tumors. You can google it but it's kind of like endometrial cells on steroids - they are just kinda going crazy in there. It's not cancer, but it behaves a bit like cancer, except for the part about being invasive like cancer cells are. But the thing is, 30% of women who have this do indeed get uterine cancer if this is left untreated, so treat it we will. The plan is an eventual hysterectomy. Gotta figure out scheduling, etc., because I really don't want to miss much work.

So there ya go. I'm fine, and yet not. Kind of a serious thing, but not a scary thing. Surgery doesn't bother me, I've got 3 c-sections under my belt. Everything's going to be fine. :) Thank you, my Jesus. I love you and you are awesome.

I wanted all my blogbuddies to know; please keep praying for me, and thank you. In addition, if anyone 'around town' reads this, please be aware that I'd just kinda like it to be under the radar. Meaning, I ain't talking much about it, and am telling very few people of this, so please do me a favor and do the same. I'm just kinda that way; if I was a dog, I'd go off in the woods and hole up til I was better. LOL.

Mum's the word. Many thanks.

consider

2010-09-07T21:51:00.001-05:00

Proverbs 27:6a

prayer from my peeps? please :)

2010-08-31T15:38:00.000-05:00

Lotsa women stuff going on these days and it ain't fun, if you know what I mean. But since there's a guy or three who reads this, I'll keep the details to a minimum.

Basically, after a difficult 4 or 5 years of peri-menopausal junk, and after over 6 weeks of something that should only last one, I have had a uterine biopsy, ultrasound, and some blood tests to determine what's going on with me and what the next steps will be. Prelim diagnosis is fibroid tumors, and unsettled plan is hysterectomy or ablation. Tests will determine if it's cancer or not, and then we'll proceed. My next appointment is in 2 weeks but they might call me in earlier, depending on the return of lab results.

So - I was driving home from the doctor's appointment yesterday, and of course, the "c" word of cancer is right there sitting in the passenger seat, grinning wickedly at me, and I had to deal with it. Couldn't call Jack or any friend and attempt to talk about it because I hadn't dealt with the unwanted ghostfigure myself, and I would have cried. I hate to cry in front of anyone. We all know that. lol

So I pulled over and did what needed to be done, I texted Jack so that by the time we both got home, at least that would be over already and I'd have myself together.

Let me say right here that there has been nothing that indicates that this IS cancer; it's just one of the possibilities that it could be, and it has to be ruled out or affirmed. So it's not like I've had bad news.

But me not knowing what a "fibroid" is (the exact words of my wonderful doctor were "so you do have a couple of fibroids in there"), I was running on just a few fumes and not any real gas. I texted Jack and then proceeded down the road with my thoughts and ignorance. I also texted a doctor friend but his specialty is orthopedic cancer surgery so we both were floundering a bit there. lol

Anyway - back on track here. While I was driving, I was thinking of another friend who's not a believer. I wondered what I would say to him if I did have cancer. Then I wondered what I would say to myself, if I did have cancer, because that's not a fun thought. I needed to deal with how I felt. Was I scared?

It's almost scary to think about me driving while I contemplated this, because my thoughts were so deep. I thought about my salvation and my Christ. I thought about maybe missing Dillon growing up all the way, and Stevie's wedding, and Dalton's college graduation. I thought about 'what if I have only so much time?' I thought about not being able to pray any more for or witness to my friend. I thought about heaven. I thought about Paul, who was content to be here or there, knowing to live is Christ and to die is gain.

I'm not scared. Not one bit. Tears started flowing as I realized the lack of fear and the trust I have in my God. That doesn't mean there's not some apprehension, some "eek" about the unknown. But fear? I'm not afraid, not scared, not even worried.

I asked myself why. This is a scary situation. Then I passed Caddo Lake and saw storm clouds with bright rays of sun piercing through, and reflected off the water. My heart praised God and I said out loud "I'm not scared, because I love You."

And I know that He loves me too. What's there to be afraid of? :)

I ask my beloved friends who come here to pray for me. I don't want cancer, not at all. I just want this over with. And to be on the road to being comfortable with my body again. Doing the obligatory internet search later, I found that fibroid tumors are quite common, and most of the time benign. It was good to read, although it didn't ease my fear because, well, I'm not afraid. LOL. I also found out that some of them are very large. I'm praying for a 60 pound one, instant weight loss! ROFL

Please remember me for the next few weeks. I love you!

a call to arms

2010-08-27T20:17:00.000-05:00

I know there aren't a whole bunch of readers of this blog, but those of you who are Republicans, please take a few minutes to read this article, written/adapted by Rob Harrison of The Spyglass, and then pass it on as you can. It's well worth us getting involved.

A Call to Arms: Against the Political Machine

a heart day

2010-08-21T23:18:00.002-05:00

Today, I stayed home. And baked! My heart so needed this. :) I also made soup. :)

Recipes to come. Just know that today, I am going to bed with hurting feet, a belly that has 3 aspirin in it, and a happycontent heart.

perfect

2010-08-13T22:17:00.001-05:00

Monday, I got the call. The baby was on the way, c-section was scheduled at 4. A week early. Of course I was only semi-ready, we were supposed to meet on Tuesday, after all, and talk about what photos mom and dad wanted. Get to know each other a little, so it wouldn't be like 'strangers' during a painful and intimate time. Get the prelimary stuff out of the way. This time would be short, and precious, and I didn't want to interfere any more than needed. This baby wasn't going to live very long.

Her heart filled up her chest too much, the lungs had little room to grow. Her sister had the same thing, a few years ago, and didn't survive either. Her brother, he was just fine, and about 2. But the sonograms and tests had shown this little baby girl just wasn't going to be able to make it more than a very short time, minutes or hours.

This was the NILMDTS session I had been contacted way back in May to do.

I was still in my pajamas when I got the call. Jumped in the tub, dressed, got all my camera gear ready and loaded. I had no idea of the lighting, and was expecting some small softlighter umbrellas in the mail, so I drove to my mom's house to see if they had come in the mail, and sure enough, there they were. Checked them and loaded them, got some money from the ATM and made myself eat a burger, since I didn't know when I'd get a chance to eat again that night, or if I would even feel like it. (I suspected not.)

Driving the hour and a half to the hospital, I did a lot of thinking, and some praying, and at red lights, texted my friend who was giving me such wonderful moral support. But I couldn't help it, I was getting more nervous and sad by the minute. Finally I got there, and found the room where the family was waiting, including mom. It was 3:30, not long before surgery. The room was packed with family and friends, and the pastor. Everyone was so sweet, the mom was smiling and doing her best to be 'ready', I guess - the dad was so nice to me and they both made me feel so welcome.

Then nurses started coming in, the anesthetist and the nurse practitioner came in and everything got busy. Just as they started to wheel her out for surgery, she said "can we take a minute to pray?" Of course.

They pushed baby's great grandmother closer to the bed, and the family gathered around. Mom looked at the pastor, and said "go ahead." Great grandma thought she meant her, and started praying in her soft sweet voice. I almost had to leave the room. It was a prayer full of praise and trust. No demands, just love. Thankfulness. I wish I could remember what she said, but I can't. I just remember the worship.

When she was done, mom nodded at the pastor, and he began in his booming Southern Baptist preacher voice, and I was comforted and amused at the same time at how SB pastors just "know what to say." That mood didn't last but a few seconds; I was witnessing the most powerful and full of faith prayer I'd ever heard. My eyes are filling with tears just thinking about it now. A prayer full of trust and faith, and yet surrender. A prayer calling down a miracle, in the name of Jesus Christ. Yet a prayer that said God, no matter what, you are perfect and your will is perfect. Saying that until the very last minute, they anticipated God's promises being fulfilled in this baby. But if not, then God, they trust anyway. A prayer, and a room, full of belief and faith and love and trust and surrender.

If anyone had asked me to say anything right after that, I would have been speechless. I could barely stand, I was so stunned by the strength of these words. I couldn't write the words down if I tried, but the prayer was imprinted on my heart in an unforgettable and permanent outpouring of faith. It was awesome. And I mean that. I was full of awe.

After mom and dad left for surgery, the family moved to the waiting room, and pretty soon, the nurses came to move mom to a bigger, more comfortable room. I breathed a sigh of relief with I saw it, because it had beautiful big windows and with the curtains pulled back, I knew the photos would be fine. The first room had NO windows.

So everyone began waiting. I don't exaggerate to say there must have been 40 family and friends there, mostly from their church. It was so sweet, and everyone made me feel so welcome. Great grandma was settled in the room with mom's sister, sister in law, and some other family, and people were coming in and out to visit. I talked to a few people myself, and found out the first baby girl had only lived for 55 minutes. I thought how I needed to be prepared and work fast. I got all my camera gear ready, took some meter readings and was all set for exposure and ready to go. But about 5, the atmosphere changed and I heard bits and pieces of sentences being passed around "She's here, and she's breathing on her own." Everyone rushed out of the room, leaving great grandma. I walked over to sit by her, and asked if she wanted me to push her chair down to the waiting room. She thought for a minute, and said "Surely they'll remember I'm here and come tell me when they know something." I smiled at her and said "Of course they will."
About 10 minutes passed. Sister came in to the room and sat down beside great grandma. They were looking intently at each other, and tears were flowing down the sister's face as she told her that Lauren was born, she was breathing on her own, and looked really good. As I watched, a single tear fell down great grandma's cheek.

I had to get up quietly and walk away.

A long story made a little less long: Lauren is now 4 days old, and is breathing on her own still, and without the supplemental oxygen they gave her at first. She's expelling the carbon dioxide from her lungs independently. She's sucking from a bottle ~ some difficulty, so she's fed from a nasal tube as well, but she's taking in (from a bottle) about an ounce at a time three times a day. She weighed 6 pounds, 15 ounces. :) She's got a head full of black hair and a beautiful round head and face. Bilaterally, her humerus and femur bones are short - basically, her upper arm bones and her thigh bones on both sides - and her chest is smaller than it should be. Kidneys are fine, heart is fine, etc. Just the lungs are small but they are sustaining her right now and she looks great.

I didn't get to go see her in the NICU, when I was there. But the nurse did say dad could bring in a camera. So I handed mine off to him right away and said "Have fun!" I think he did an awesome job.

Mom's facebook status yesterday: "Today I was suppose to be getting ready for a funeral. Instead I am getting ready to go see my miracle in the NICU. It may not be the perfect situation but I get to hold her, feed her, touch her, and see her beautiful eyes. Oh how my perspective in life has forever changed!"

Every day is a gift for them. Being there that day was a gift for me. One I'll never ever forget.

Thank you, God, for being perfect, in all situations, at all times. The same before tragedy as after; the same before triumph as after. Full of grace and love. I love you.

treasure island

2010-08-07T18:15:00.001-05:00

This past week has been one of much introspection, little good sleep, hours of intentionally quieting my mind, and surprisingly few tears. It's been a week that almost saw Jack move out, and almost with my blessing or at the least, my help.

But there's something to be said for just trying to ride the waves. My mouth gets me into too much trouble as it is, so making valiant attempts to clam it up has taken a lot of my time and energy. Releasing the control of the situation and allowing it to flow from Jack's side of the river rather than mine was hard, but when the strength to swim just isn't to be found, 'going with the flow' has its benefits. Silence is indeed golden.

Today was a talking day. And things sound pretty good to me. Looking out the window now at the golden light from the afternoon sun, I feel like I'm waking up from a week-long sleep. It feels wonderful.

Treasures are all around me, and so is fool's gold. Sometimes it takes an 'almost' to make me clearheaded enough to sift through the glitter and find the real deal. I'm finding treasures that I knew I already had, some of which I had regrettably taught myself to take for granted; and I'm finding that there are a few in there that I didn't know would be shining up at me after the sieve.

Life ~ the simple, the repetitive, and even the mundane ~ treasures on my island. Life is good. Even when it hurts.

God is good. Even when I don't have the words or the energy or even the desire to pray, still, God is good. I'm so glad he understands my heart, even when it's hidden under shadow. Nothing stops my God.

Not even me.

photoshop isn't the only thing with layers

2010-08-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

We are made up of so many layers. What we see on the outside isn't necessarily what is real on the inside. One layer gets peeled, it's like a brand new day, a new person almost than was there before.

Except for her. I think she is 100% "real", through and through. A real princess. :)

need

2010-08-01T21:28:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I just feel emptied. Poured out, used up, wasted. Isolated. I want to cry out with gutwrenching throat tearing screams. But it wouldn't matter anyway, because nobody would hear them.

I really need you, Jesus.

undeniable

2010-07-30T12:15:00.000-05:00

Picking through the images from my trip of joy to south Texas, I found this beautiful little plant. I have no idea what it is, but I do know I'd like to have one, if it will stand the humidity of NW Louisiana. And if it's non-invasive HAHA. I cropped out to the composition I wanted, and as I was punching up the color and sharpening, I zoomed in and studied the little but on top (I think he's so cute). The more I looked, the more I found, there's so much to see in this microworld ~ a spider having lunch, more bugs, the clarity of the colors, the depth of field ~ it's amazing what a world God has made. Truly marvelous. The words to Mat Kearney's song (that I absolutely adore) came to mind. God is indeed undeniable, unforgettable, unmistakeable. The One I can't deny.

Undeniable

Mat Kearney

It’s undeniable who brilliant you are

In an unreliable world you shine like a star

It’s unforgettable now that we’ve come this far

It’s unmistakable that you’re undeniable

February 5th, Friday morning, purple dawn,

Broke a yawn, as I stepped through the fog, like I stepped to a song

a moment like a poem, you wish you could hold it

I shut my eyes like it’s frozen, it’s gone when I open

It slipped past the clouds right there where it lingered

Like your band and a girl could slip through your fingers

My feet hit the ground like a beat for the lonely

On a path beaten down by the crowds in the morning

If only I could touch past the phony

If only they were there now to hold me

As the questions keep droning

You’re the only one who stuck it out last night

The only other one who caught the other line

You’re the only one when this world collides

The one that I can’t deny.

It’s undeniable who brilliant you are

In an unreliable world you shine like a star

It’s unforgettable now that we’ve come this far

It’s unmistakable that you’re undeniable

It’s my last year here, my first class moved to portable ‘a’

under construction since summer and it’s cold today

I can see my breath, and what’s left of the west parking lot
and all the spaces that we fought

And it seems forgotten, left in the bottom

In past piles of rubble, in puddles of rain water

That hurt last night when I left like that
when I won’t come back speaking my peace to the past

I can’t help but wonder, who is this wind at my back

A whisper to walk on, come on from all that

You’re the only one who stuck it out this time

The only other one who caught the other line

You’re the only one when this world collides

The one that I can’t deny

It’s undeniable who brilliant you are

In an unreliable world you shine like a star

It’s unforgettable now that we’ve come this far

It’s unmistakable that you’re undeniable

How am I gonna take it away in this winter wind

You found me on a summer breeze
And how am I gonna run away when the autumn breaks
Now that you found me in this spring
Come on and sing it out

It’s undeniable who brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It’s unforgettable now that we’ve come this far
It’s unmistakable that you’re undeniable

and for your shopping convenience,

2010-07-28T17:26:00.000-05:00

If you're following me to my new blog, from this one - here's the link again.

http://www.wheniheardthunder.blogspot.com/

XOXO

one more change

2010-07-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

I periodically check in here, to get something from an old blogpost, to find a certain image, to refresh my memory on something that happened, or to just see how God has worked since I wrote certain things.

And when I check in, it's mighty obnoxious to find that I have spam comments or whatever those things are. Grr.

So, I made a change to "comment moderation" and now I'm the only one who can comment on any of these posts anymore. woot! This'll keep thousands of little silly unreadable messages from stacking up on here. (I hope!)

temporary update

2010-07-28T11:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I got home too late to carry Pumpkin to his vet. He didn't eat anything after I let him in the house yesterday afternoon; all he did was sleep on a chair, and I was sadly thinking he may be heading for the Rainbow Bridge soon. Last night, I fixed up a blanket for him in the bathroom and left him inside for the night, with some cat food, water, and a bowl with a little shredded cheese and a spot of sour cream. This morning, the cheese and sour cream were gone, which is a great thing. I put him out for a while; he is an outside cat and likes it. even though he likes to be in Jack's chair as well, lol. I let him in again a while ago, where he immediately tried to trip me 3 times in the kitchen (normal behavior); ate a couple spoonfuls of canned cat food, and drank almost all of an egg mixed with milk. That was good to see.

Couldn't make it to the vet today, but tomorrow is vet day, first thing in the a.m. Unless, of course, it's an emergency, in which I'll be banging on the vet's door at midnight, if I have to, LOL. I'll be watching him today to see how he's doing, and monitoring his food intake. I'll post again tomorrow, so if you were praying for him, please don't stop yet. :)
XO

prayer, please

2010-07-27T08:52:00.001-05:00

Some might think this is silly, asking for prayer for a cat, but this cat is Pumpkin. He's been part of the family for about 13 years.

I haven't been able to get him to eat anything much yesterday or this morning. I'm taking him to the vet as soon as I get back from my appointment. I'm hoping that it will be something like a bad tooth, or just that he needs worming (because he does); but my heart tells me it might be something worse.

Please pray, because it's almost ridiculous how much I love this cat.

let's get this done

2010-07-26T10:41:00.001-05:00

(I've edited this from my initial post this morning. Some of it wasn't anything to be proud of. Heck, this whole post isn't anything to be proud of, but still I feel the need to say some things. I just changed it because I was ashamed of myself and the mean feelings that were bleeding through. I hope whoever read that first post will forgive me for being, well, a sinner.)

I know there aren't just gobs of readers of this blog, but some of you have been with me for a long long time, way back when Rain Down was started, and even before. You guys will remember the intense struggle for peace and resolution down inside me after a longtime friend and I had a disagreement, and she dropped the friendship like a hot potato. How I struggled to come to terms with the almost instantaneous evaporation of that friendship, and subsequently, the friendship of our children - not really that their friendship was gone, but it pretty much put the brakes on any kind of future relationship. I'm thankful that my kids still enjoy hers, when they cross paths, but it's not the same, and I guess it'll never be.

So - I didn't really blog about it, but last November, the first, actually, I hit the end of that road. I had had enough. The last straw was in a local restaurant, after which I came home and washed my hands of the whole thing. I was done. It's easier to just forgive and forget, than it is to forgive and hope.

In all this, please don't think I was perfect. I tend to be the type to stand back and test the water before I jump in. I could have pushed the issue, stepped right up in her face at every opportunity, and forced an interaction...but, that's just not me. Perhaps it should be me. I struggled for months with myself to decide if I should call, should try to set up a heart to heart, or a face-off, if you will. Jack asked me, "Did you do anything wrong to cause all this?" I had already thought deeply about this for a long time. "No. I only answered some questions she asked, and they weren't in line with what she believed." He said "Then let it go." I tried that for a long time - letting go is hard, people, especially when you believed in the friendship and when you don't have that many really close friends to begin with. But finally, that November day, I did. And I've been at peace with it.

So why am I bringing it up again? (tired chuckle)

Well - I have found out, quite by accident, that this person who was once a friend has read the blog. Ack. Those of you who remember when a dear friend also found the blog, right at the beginning, will also remember how I freaked out about someone who lives in my town actually seeing my thoughts and prayers; but in that case, it was a good good thing, a blessing from God. This time, it not being someone I am still friends with, I felt the initial panicky freaking starting to rumble, but then it just died down. Maybe it will erupt another day, maybe not. It's hard to be 'seen' with your heart wide open. My initial reaction was to shut all this down, start over, or at least make it open to only invited readers. But I don't think hiding it now is what I want to do. I'm still not happy about it being open to the 'public' around here, but you know, I think I'll just have to get over it, and let God have it. And I have done nothing but be honest about my feelings and tried to let God and my friends help me through it. Anyone who might have been hurt, or upset, or disgruntled or anything like that, about my blogposts, well - I apologize, but this is my heartpouring spot. I don't intend to change it now. I do have a few things to say:

#1. This is MY blog. It is open to anyone who stumbles across it. That even includes the one whose friendship I lost and struggled to get over for so long. And the ones that may have been told about it and subsequently read it. I made it public, so now it's up for grabs. But - being that this is indeed my blog, be forewarned, you might read something in here that you don't particularly like. That's one of the benefits of being the sole author of this blog, LOL.

#2, and #3 - yes, I still feel all of what I initially wrote - but I don't think it's something I should have shared here; there's too much bitterness in what I said, and I don't want to become bitter ~ I've been trying to clean my mouth of that flavor, so I've removed a lot of that initial post. I'll just say this - I am going to keep on keepin' on, and I hope you readers either love me through it, accept it as part of me, or at the least, click the red X if it's something that causes you to resent me or what I'm saying. Or just call me, heck, I'm always up for talking things through. To my blogfriends who've seen me through all the pain, just remember I love you and appreciate you always being honest with me, through here and through emails and texts.

#4. It's been so long since all that bad stuff happened, I skimmed through my 2007 posts and some of 2008. I just want to thank God for bringing me through what was one of the most difficult times of my life. I know I didn't handle everything in a Christlike manner, but I learned so much about turning it all over to Jesus and letting him deal with me, and letting him love me and forgive me and be there for me. Because this blog isn't about trashing, it's about me and what God's doing with me. I hope and pray that it continues to be such a blog, and I am thanking and praising my Father for bringing me out of burnout lately - flickers of Jesusflame are starting to ignite a fire in me again, and I'm blessedly grateful for the burning.

I think that's about it. Oh, one more thing. Jesus, I love you. You are still my Breath when there's no air. I love you, love you, love you.

balancing act

2010-07-18T15:37:00.000-05:00

I've been lazy about one thing in particular, when it comes to my photography. I've been pretty lazy about the white balance - how the camera sees 'white'. It's so complicated an issue (for a moron like me) when you break it down into the 'color' of white, that I've just kind of avoided it and let the camera do the work.

However, ever since Anne of nikkipolani let me borrow her ExpoDisc a while back (thanks, sweetie!), I've felt this nagging sense of 'you should do better' and so the opportunity came up for me to get one the other day - long story, but the final point being now I have a neutral ExpoDisc.

Here's my first experiment with it. The company that makes these tools has a mascot, a cute little green treefrog. So, included in the package was a little plastic bag of 6 green gummy frogs. I was hooked right away, I LOVE gummy anythings, as long as they are fruit flavored. Something about chewing rubber just warms my heart. HAHA

Anyway - here's the setup. I stuck one to the door of one of my ratty old kitchen cabinets. The room light is mostly fluorescent, the other being a slight bit of tree-shaded window light from across the room, not enough to matter when it comes to setting the white balance.

I took 3 shots, each with a different WB setting, all other variables remaining the same. WB settings used were auto, fluorescent, and custom with ExpoDisc. Take a look:

1. Auto: WAY too many red tones. The cabinet handle looks totally off.

2. Fluorescent: closer to the actual color of the cabinets my eye sees, but still, a bit too red. I can see it on the handle again, just not as much as before.

3. Custom: Now we're talking. The browns are starting to come through, yet the reddish tones of the wood is still there. The handle looks more normal to me in this one.

I'll be interested to experiment more with this tool, I think I'm going to like it. The biggest advantage (of course!) I can see to using this would be getting the white balance right in camera, and not having to tweak it in post. Because I really have a hard time getting it right in post. This has the potential to be a Big. Time. Saver. Woohoo for saving time, we all know how big of a deal that is.

help please :)

2010-07-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

I have been working on learning a fun technique to add textures to images, giving them more of an antique or at least an artsy look. I'm finding that they go over best on flower or nature pictures, more so than portraits.

I've decided to make a set of blank note cards to give as gifts this year for Christmas, and I'd like to get an opinion from all of you dearhearts. :) The people I have most in mind for this are some of the sweet ladies at church, a couple of aunts, my mom, and our clerk at work, etc. All of them are Christians.

I need help in making up my mind about whether or not to include Scripture on the cards. I think it's lovely to do that, but I also think it sort of 'sets' the tone of the note card - for instance, in this example, the Scripture Matthew 6:33 almost makes it a card that you would send to someone who's having a bit of a struggle in life at the moment. The non-Scripture'd card doesn't have any attached sentiment at all, and could be used for almost any situation.

What do you think? Which would you prefer to have? When you buy cards, do you typically choose something with Scripture already there, or do you go for the blank ones?

I'd like to hear from you about this, if you get a chance. :) Thanking you ahead of time. XO

almost home...

2010-07-16T20:41:00.000-05:00

My mom had surgery on her feet, on Monday - although she can get around, and she has my dad there, and my brothers check on her even more frequently than I do, still, I cooked supper for her twice this week and took the opportunity to visit a bit both times. Yesterday after I finished the dishes and got her settled back in bed, I kissed her good night and headed out with a sack to cut the basil and pick any ripe tomatoes she might have in her garden - my mom's so generous with her bounty.

I took my sweet time about it...it was dusk and the mosquitoes hadn't found me yet. I basked in the gentle (85 degrees is gentle, believe me) moist heat of the evening and listened to crickets and treefrogs perform their symphony along with the snip of the garden scissors. Walking back to the truck to leave, I couldn't keep my eyes from the western sky, with the fading light and the silhouettes of the oak trees ~ the same view I had grown up with, and learned to savor every chance I got.

I don't know how to describe the feeling I got - home. I'm almost there. Plans for the house are still moving too slow (for me) but they are moving forward. That's so wonderful.

But - home. My heart caught in my chest and I could barely breathe, such a longing feeling came over me, coupled with joy and anticipation.

I didn't want to go to my other, present home yet. I'll eventually blog about that home, as well, because it's in my heart too, but not like this home, this foundation, this Tara.

I drove slowly across the road, to my brother's garden, just to see how it was doing. I can see my house site from there. When I got out, I found some little tomatoes that needed picking, and some bigger ones that were ready for ripening on the countertop. Out came the cell phone ~ "Chuck, can I have these?" And as I knew he would, he said "Take whatever you want. Check the squash, too, you might find something there."

With sandy sneakers, and a t-shirt full of tomatoes and squash, still I didn't want to leave.. I lingered until it was almost too dark to see. As I drove slowly back here, to my husband and kids, my heart and soul were quiet, calm, peaceful.

I'm almost home.

passing it on

2010-07-16T18:10:00.000-05:00

I just had to link you to Donnetta's blog, where she wrote this awesome post. :) Heartwarming.

Donnetta, right back atcha. Love coming to your quiet corner.

stricken

2010-07-15T23:26:00.000-05:00

I don't even know how to say the conviction I feel, so I'll just jump in with this quote from The Spyglass, talking about identifying sins in the lives of people (including ourselves) - not those sins we hate and want to get rid of, but instead, those we love, and hang on to, and idolize:

"Try it, and you’ll be called every name in the book, and maybe even some that aren’t in there yet; and in particular, you’ll be called hateful, unloving, judgmental, and maybe even pharisaical (depending on the other person’s vocabulary). And yet, doing so isn’t unloving in the least; in truth, it’s a profound act of love. Too often, I think, we don’t love others enough to risk their anger and abuse by telling them something they don’t want to hear, even if they deeply need to hear it. Easier not to care that much, to just be quiet instead. It’s a shame, really; in fact, it’s a damned shame. Literally." Rob Harrison, "Homosexuality and the challenge of idolatry"

loving Light

2010-07-15T09:01:00.000-05:00

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-17

I must apologize for covering my light with a bowl these days. For the past few months, I've been so caught up in work, and home, and myself, that I have neglected the main purpose of this blog (including Rain Down) - said main purpose being a way for me to talk to God, without restraint or self-consciousness.

Yes, it's here for photos and recipes and gardening stuff and updates and just fun, but it all started with it just being me, and maybe 3 readers, way back a few years ago, And Jesus Then it got bigger, in lots of ways - I liked the way it expanded, but somehow, over the course of time, God got pushed to the back row, the priorities have gotten reversed. Isn't that the way we tend to do in all of life, if we're not careful? Our Groom deserves everything, not leftovers...Jesus deserves flipped priorities. He was always intended to be the Light of this blog. I'm ashamed of covering my light with a bowl.

And then there's that burnout problem. lol. That pesky thing has been weighing me down for a year now, but as I said a few days ago, I'm better. And I really am. The embers have been only smoking for a long time, but I took a stick and stirred them, and found a coal down there that, underneath the ashes of the burn, is still redhot. And once I take the step and make an effort to kick all the smothering ashes out of the way, God will step forward for me and blow his sweet holy breath on my coal, and flame it up again, tall and hot. And shining before men.

Okay, God...here we go...ready, set...

...KICK.

(wow, that's bright!)

humbled

2010-07-08T06:18:00.000-05:00

“I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.”

Psalm 138:2

best driving song ever

2010-07-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

Just listen to the playlist on the sidebar. If you like Creed, of course. (surprise! rofl)

Feel free to do it like me - over and over and over again. My ipod cries for mercy. lol.

This song - man. Love the music. Love Scott's voice. Love the message.

Just love it.

how it is these days

2010-07-04T20:59:00.000-05:00

1. Weather.
Thank you, blessed God in heaven, for sending some rain. We so desperately need it. The humidity has still been high but things feel normal out there - 94% is nothing when the temperatures are in the upper 70's, low 80's. The rain cooled things down and made it so nice. Not to mention making it easier on the animals and gardens.

2. Job.
I've been tossing around a job change for a while; I feel okay putting it down in blogworld now because I've already talked to my boss about it (WHO btw is the most awesome boss EVER ~ his office just got repainted and I was talking to him in the midst of him moving back in, and saw some of his fav reading materials stacked on his desk ~ Stephen King, Dean Koontz, John Grisham EEK! What more can you ask? He's never read LOTR though so I am nixing pitching in on the Bass Pro Shop gift card for him for Christmas this year and getting him the paperback set of LOTR instead. Then he will be even more awesome for reading them.) I've been waiting on an answer from God about this possible move, and within a week's time, one event after another led me down the path to Stay Where You Are. lol. God is good, and he caused me to see with my eyes directed outward instead of just my heart directed inward (which sometimes is heart + inward = selfish) and I realized that I don't live in a vacuum ~ the decision I was considering making would not only affect me (and my takehome pay) but it would affect my whole department at work, and possibly cause a domino effect, and would indeed cause my boss a lot of trouble and extra work. Bill didn't even know all this until after I decided, so the only pressure I was under was my own. But it isn't a good move for a lot of reasons. I made the final decision driving home on the first day it rained, and before I got settled in the house for the night, this is what God gave me:

I love him. He's so full of sweetness and surprises and presents. :)

3. Marriage.
Without going into a lot of detail that nobody really wants to hear anyway, I can say things have been pretty good for a couple of weeks. And also I can say that Jack went to the doctor, and although I didn't pry into it all, he is trying some new things; I can't say what, if anything, has changed, but I can say he's calm and and almost his old self again these days. It's a good thing. A very good thing. :)

4. House.
We are almost to the point of having the floor plan the way we want it, and we are starting the process of getting the paperwork together to see the actual cost of the house, the interest rate we can get, and all that stuff. Pray, please pray. We need this, I need this...

We are meeting with Steve (the contractor guy) Tuesday afternoon and hopefully some things will be settled and we will be starting on our way to the collapse of our marri...er, on our way to building a house. (teehee!)

Here is a view of what I look at in the evenings, here at the house I'm in right now. I will miss this place, in spite of how much we need this move. It's been home for almost 20 years...

6. Church.
I am working on the burnout thing. I am getting better. :) God is good.

7. America.
I love you.

Today during worship, the choir sang a medley of the songs of the U.S. Military ~ along with that, there was a video and also, our veterans or active duty military stood up during the singing of their branches song, and our church applauded each time. Sheesh. It's enough to make a girl cry. lol. Oh how I love my country and the men and women who protect it. Thank you.

8. Blog.
I love you people. Thanks for checking on me, praying for me, loving on me. I have been itching to get on and post for 2 days now. It's been a while since I've been caught up in this and it feels good to be there again.

it WAS vacation, after all, y'all

2010-07-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

A treat I rarely allow myself - they are so addicting, and it wouldn't take much for me to stock my freezer for the rest of the summer. That would also mean stocking the seat of my jeans pretty significantly. rofl

It was a bit of a heat wave that day, driving to San Marcos, and this was so refreshing. There is no doubt in my mind that Snickers Ice Cream Bars are a gift from God.

stunned

2010-07-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

This floors me. What do they think they are doing?

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=37893

Thanks, Rob, for supplying the information.

bread of life

2010-06-27T14:26:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I did a blogpost about taking a good long hard look at myself, following a much needed but painful email from a friend, that was full of blunt honesty.

Today, God sent me a heartmail that was just the same. Open, honest, painful. The difference was, I could look into his eyes and see the love just spilling out all over me.

So I took that look at myself, and while I was searching, something broke, way down inside of me.

I think it was my stubborn will.

I heard the snap. That's when the tears started. And I prayed the most sincere prayer I have prayed for months. I could hardly take communion afterward, but I did, and it was the sweetest fellowship with my Jesus...

Thank you for your prayers, I have no doubt that they were part of what God used to soften my heart today; that and his endless, overwhelming, overpowering, amazing love.

lavender lemonade

2010-06-27T14:04:00.001-05:00

First sip is kind of a shocker.

Then it's addicting. :) Even my kids liked it, all 3 of them.

Lavender Lemonade

(recipe adapted from the recipe of Hill Country Lavender, Blanco, TX)

(for one gallon)

6 large lemons, juiced (including pulp)

6 cups water for making lavender tea

1 tablespoon culinary lavender

1 cup sugar (or more, to taste)

additional water

Boil 6 cups water in a pot. While it heats, place 1 tablespoon culinary lavender in a tea infuser (or cheesecloth). When water boils, remove from heat, drop in the infuser, cover and steep for 15 minutes.

In the meantime, place the juice and pulp from the lemons in a gallon pitcher. Add the cup (or more) of sugar and stir til sugar is dissolved. After lavender tea is done steeping, remove infuser and pour the tea in the pitcher with the lemonade, stirring. Add enough cold water to fill the pitcher. Chill, or pour immediately over ice, and serve. You can garnish with a lemon slice and a spring of lavender, if you like.

A little lavender goes a long way. I came home with 2 bags, enough to fill this pint jar, and it should last me quite a while. I'm excited for the plans I have to make some other recipes using lavender, like ice cream, brownies, scones, and even some orange-lavender biscotti. All in good time though. :)

(sadness...)

potato soup

2010-06-26T14:28:00.001-05:00

There are those who say soup is for cold months, that summer is too hot for soup.

I say those people just don't get it.

They don't understand that soup isn't only a hot meal to be eaten to warm you up. Soup is comfort. It's the touch of a hand on your shoulder, or a kiss on your forehead. It's a smile and a hug. It's scents and tastes of childhood.

Soup is love for the spirit.

Not to mention, those same people would have a hissy fit if they got served a cold steak. In the summertime. ROFL

Sis's Potato Soup

about 6 large potatoes, peeled and sliced or diced (you can leave the peel on, if you prefer - be sure to scrub it well if you do, to remove dirt)

one medium to large onion, diced

one or two stalks of celery, sliced

one large or about 6 or 7 baby carrots, sliced

a tablespoon of butter, plus more for later to taste

water

one or two cans evaporated milk

salt and pepper to taste

Put the prepared potatoes, onion, celery, and carrots in a large stock pot, and cover (barely) with cold water. Bring to a boil on high heat, and then turn down to a simmer. Add the tablespoon of butter at this time, to keep the potatoes from frothing up and boiling over. Simmer until potatoes are tender - you should be able to take the edge of a wooden spoon and just cut one in half against the side of the stock pot.

At this point, remove from the heat and carefully use a potato masher to smash up the veggies in the pot, keeping the water in there with it all. Be careful not to smash too vigorously or you will splash hot liquid on yourself. Leave the potatoes a bit chunky, if you like, or you could use an immersion blender to make it all smooth. I prefer the chunks although I've fixed it the other way and it's good too. When it's mashed to your liking, add a can of milk to the pot. You might need two, depending on how much you have in the pot. :) Salt and pepper it all to taste, and add more butter to taste as well. Heat through (but don't boil, it will scorch). Be sure and give the pot a stir every time you dip it out to serve, because the potatoes tend to settle a bit and the other veggies float.

Enjoy! I like to sprinkle a few frito chips on top every few minutes and catch those in my spoon with the soup. You can also make it heartier by chopping and adding cooked ham or smoked sausage to the pot when you are heating it through at the end.

I so needed this soup the other day when I made it. Food wasn't tasting good at all to me from when I was so sick. After laying off the cough meds for a few days, things were starting to taste better and I made this. It was so filling and warming and just made me feel better. In more ways than physically. It really was the turning point at which things started looking brighter.

the tide's going out

2010-06-26T11:44:00.001-05:00

And it's leaving me floundering. I told a friend that I was, and he said that was okay, just don't drown.

Things have been 'different' this summer, with the job, and with a huge bump in the marriage road, and with my kids growing up so fast, and with the house thing (will we, won't we, what plan, ah forget it, no let's get going again), and I haven't been myself with being sick and with not getting enough sleep.

So. That has me floundering.

And that has me making excuses. If I really want to be honest.

I asked said friend for some words of encouragement and I got words of honesty instead. Those are never fun. But they are usually needed. So as tears trickled down my cheeks, I took a good hard look at myself and...I'm still floundering. lol.

But, at least I'm trying to move toward the water now. Getting more sleep, seem to be over the respiratory infection for the most part, and I only have 2 more weeks of work because the girl I'm replacing for the summer found out her maternity leave is not as long as she had hoped. July 8th is my last summer day, and with 4 day work weeks, and July 5 being a holiday, I actually only have 7 more days of work. Not as much money to sock toward house stuff as I hoped, but dang it, I don't even care right now. I need my summer. There will be a week in there that the boys are gone to camp, and Stevie will be in class and working, and Jack will be working too. I plan on that being my retreat week. Recharging before the next school year starts. Looking forward to it very much.

As for now - I'm at a loss inside about how to blog right now. It's another thing I'm floundering on. Especially on the exercise thing. Kind of like, that's been a failure since the start of May at least, maybe longer, I just can't remember when it got so far behind me. The exercise, not the blogging about it. So this past Monday, I started up again and am feeling pretty decent about that, but to blog about it, I'm wondering what's the point? Who even cares, and does it really help me in any way?

While I sort those things out, and whether this helps me be accountable to myself any, I decided to pull out my camera and take some pictures last time I went running. Somebody might be interested in those, at least. LOL. I always like looking at pictures that show a little of someone's life. :)

I want to ask for prayer for me, those of you who are willing. God is still the source of my strength and my help in trouble, but this isn't an easy time of life. If I may be so bold as to suggest what to pray for me, I really need for God to light a spark in my heart. It's a tired heart, in a lot of ways, and it doesn't want to be. And that I have a greater sense of commitment in all the places I need to toughen up in, physically, spiritually, and mentally. And most of all, pray that in all I do, Jesus Christ is honored. Thanks, and much love.

Okay, so here we go. These are all sort of impressions I got of my walking/running routine. They probably won't make much sense to anyone else, LOL.

My running buddy, goes by the name of My Pink Ipod That Plays Creed Almost Nonstop. I really need to find my arm strap because my friend is getting tired of being shoved down inside my running bra. ROFL

This is the half-mile mark. I just kind of go back and forth. lol. Don't tell the authorities that Jack painted this on the road. hahahaa

This is the view looking back from the half-mile mark. I always run up that hill, especially the far one which is steeper (where you can barely see a light pole). For some reason, walking up a hill is killer and I prefer running. I tried to squat down low for the photo to make it look more intimidating but it still just looked the same.

And this is the view from the top of the little hill, at the light pole place. :) Kinda pretty, isn't it? I like the isolation here. That's an electric company in the building, not like a utilities company but construction type. There's always someone there when I am so I feel safe in spite of the isolation of this industrial park. They are always waving at me. Probably thinking I'm crazy for doing this in 100 degree heat. I agree with them. LOL

When I was getting back in the Tahoe after taking one of these pictures, I noticed the view from the driver's door. And thought how much it described most of my day, these days. lol. Bottled water, Fiber One poptart things (one for breakfast every work morning - beats oatmeal LOL), camera bag open on the passenger seat and camera usually in my lap, cell phone close by and a couple bucks stuffed between the seats. This, my friends, is a snapshot of 'me.'

When I'm done, my water isn't far from me (and doesn't last very long, lol). Yes, I'm such a guy - there it is, between my legs...sheesh.

Knee straps in their accustomed place, so I don't forget em at home next time...

And one who makes coming home worthwhile. :)

for v.v.

2010-06-18T15:11:00.000-05:00

This one reminds me of you, because you and Berlin have the same beautiful eyes. :)

Thank you for sharing your furbabies with us for an afternoon. And your mom.

And just for the record, you are pretty dang cool.

<3

for chica

2010-06-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

This one makes me think of you. :)